Infertility & Pregnancy Loss
Drawing on my decade-long struggle with infertility/pregnancy loss and my late coauthor’s more than twenty-five years of medical expertise, our coauthored books about infertility explore this spiritual, marital, emotional, medical, and ethic crisis. We offer a unique male/female, doctor/patient, and clinical/theological combination of perspectives.
Resources on Infertility & Pregnancy Loss
A Journey Through Miscarriage
Twenty-three million miscarriages happen globally each year. One in every 50 couples trying to have children experience multiple miscarriages. As many as 120,000 couples each year suffer at least their third consecutive miscarriage. Read Post →
A Heart’s Desire
A couple sat to eat lunch with me after I had spoken at an infertility symposium. As we talked, I asked the wife, “When you grieve over your infertility, what is your greatest loss?” She didn’t have to think about her answer. “It’s the loss of a dream; my heart’s desire is to have my husband’s child and raise it together.” I turned to the husband and addressed him. “And you?” Read Post →
Dealing with Aunt Bertha and Other Well-Intentioned Dragons
Whenever I sit in a room full of quiet fertility patients, I’ve found a quick way to get the conversation started. I simply ask, “Has anyone ever been insensitive about your infertility?” At first they give me the “duh” look. But after that momentary pause, they stumble over each other with anecdotes. Read Post →
Secondary Infertility: The Baby Blues
When Charla and Bob Boyl tried to have a second child, they were shocked to discover they had a fertility problem. The Boyls have plenty of company; at least one in twelve couples of childbearing age experience secondary infertility. They have one child, maybe more, then find that after a year or more of trying, they have been unable to conceive or carry another pregnancy to term. Read Post →
Infertility Seminar Notes
Before the death of my coauthor and co-presenter, Dr. William Cutrer, we conducted infertility conferences for churches and support organizations across the U.S., in Mexico, and in Eastern Europe. Our doctor/patient, male/female approach was designed to provide information and support for patients, counselors, ministry workers, and friends of those experiencing infertility. Download the PDF →
The Sturggle with Infertility
In this episode, Dr. Darrell Bock, Sandra Glahn and Julie Shannon Fuller discuss the social, financial, and spiritual challenges facing couples who struggle with infertility. Watch the Video →
Infertility FAQ
In English and Spanish
Are infertility and sterility the same thing?
Isn’t infertility really a woman’s problem?
Is infertility rare?
In Search of the Stork
When Heather Patterson hadn’t conceived after trying 18 months for a second child, she consulted her physician. At 32, she dropped her jaw when he told her she had begun early menopause. “I cry a lot now,” she said. “Especially when I receive baby shower invitations.” Read Post →
Facing the No-Baby Blues
“I think I just need to relax,” I told my ob/gyn after my annual examination. “We’re putting in long hours with our youth group, I work full-time, and my husband just finished seminary.” I had believed the myth that the cure for infertility is relaxing. Read Post →
“I’m Pregnant”: How to Tell Infertile Friends
Tears burned in Kathy’s eyes. It was painful enough to cuddle with her nieces and nephews when she and Kevin longed for a baby. Then, as the family circled the holiday dinner table, her sister exclaimed, “Kathy, I haven’t had a chance to tell you—I’m pregnant again!” All of the relatives stared at their plates. Kathy said later, “I was the only one who didn’t know. I’m sure she was excited about her good news, but my sister did an awful job of telling me she was expecting.” Read Post →
When Mother’s Day Never Comes
Every year on a Sunday in May, many pastors ask mothers to stand. In some churches all mothers will receive a flower. And restaurants will offer bargain meals to families honoring Mom. On Mother’s Day we honor the sacrifices our mothers have made and continue to make—and well we should. But for millions of couples, Mother’s Day is “M-Day,” the most dreaded holiday of the year. For these couples—the ones experiencing fertility problems—this day serves as a reminder of what they long to have but which eludes their grasp. A child. Read Post →
Ethics & Infertility
Bioethics
Read the headlines or browse news stories these days and you’ll find all sorts of medically related topics. Cloning. Infertility. Test tube babies. Euthanasia. Stem cell research. Embryo adoption. Surrogacy. These are just a sampling, right? My journey through infertility and pregnancy loss has given me a front-row seat in some of the bioethics conversations—a seat I never would have pursued had my situation not demanded answers. Go to the Page →
Multiple Choices: Navigating the Moral Mine Field of Fertility Treatment
One couple told me: “We didn’t put much thought into the ‘right and wrong’ of what we were doing. We wanted a baby and either of us probably would have sacrificed anything for success. How many to fertilize, what to do with “leftover embryos,” whether we’d consider using a donor, destroying embryos without thinking—answering those questions beforehand saved us lots of stress in the midst of IVF.” Read Post →
Does Plan B Cause Abortion?
I wrote a piece about Plan B when the FDA had just approved it. Afterward, someone left this comment: “How do they (scientists) not know whether Plan B sheds or doesn’t shed the uterine wall?” That seems like it would be simple to find out. If Plan B did in fact do this…would this change some of your opinions? Read Post →
The Ethics of Using Leftover Embryos
What can we do about all the frozen embryos slated for destruction? Avoid cryopreservation of embryos. First, we need to avoid the waste of more embryos by counseling couples pursuing assisted reproductive technologies to limit the number of eggs fertilized to the number they’re committed to carry to term. With in vitro fertilization procedures, each mature egg is placed in a separate dish. So in the case of abundant eggs, embryologists can limit the number of eggs exposed to sperm. Generally when couples request this, clinics honor their ethical desires. Read Post →
When the Cradle is Empty: Ethical Solutions
Ten years ago, a California couple made headlines when they became part of the world’s first five-parent arrangement. Having contacted the unmarried birthparents of their adopted child, they asked for a biological sibling. By that time, the birth parents had split up and lived in different states, but they offered to donate eggs and sperm. Because the adoptive mother was unable to carry a pregnancy, the adoptive father’s adult daughter (from another marriage) served as a surrogate. Read Post →
Further Resources
For those facing pregnancy loss, some friends have made their Bible study on the subject available for download.
Check out www.hannah.org (Hannah’s Prayer), a Christian online support organization for couples experiencing infertility and pregnancy loss. I have served on their advisory board.
RESOLVE: www.resolve.org I used to serve on the board of this secular consumer group for fertility patients.
International Council on Infertility Info Dissemination (INCIID): www.inciid.org